“They’re My Soulmate”… But Do They Feel the Same?

This is something I see a lot, and it’s something I feel needs to be talked about more honestly, and there needs to be some spiritual understanding.

People come to me and say things like, “he’s my soulmate,” or “she’s my twin flame,” or “I know we’re meant to be together.” And I understand where that’s coming from because what they’re feeling is real to them. The emotions are real, the pull at the heart feels real, and the connection can feel very intense. I’m not here to dismiss that or tell anyone that what they’re feeling isn’t valid, because it is. But where things start to get a bit off track is when that feeling is taken as confirmation that the connection is automatically mutual, destined, or meant to unfold in a specific way.

There’s a difference between feeling something deeply and actually being in a mutual, aligned connection with someone. And that’s usually the part that people struggle with, because when something feels strong, it’s very easy to assume that it must mean something bigger or more permanent. Also, keep in mind that soulmate and twinflame are different things. Please read my article on that as well for a better understanding.

Feeling Deeply vs. Being Aligned

You can feel strongly about someone for a lot of different reasons and not all of those reasons point to a soulmate or twin flame connection. Sometimes it’s attraction, sometimes it’s chemistry, sometimes it’s timing, and sometimes it’s deeper things like attachment or unhealed wounds being triggered. There are also situations where someone comes into your life and activates something within you that you weren’t fully aware of before, and that alone can feel powerful enough to label it as something destined. But none of those things, on their own, confirm that the person is your soulmate. They just mean that something in you is reacting, connecting, or opening in a certain way.

A Soulmate Connection Is Mutual

One of the most important things to understand and this is where I see a lot of confusion, is that a true soulmate connection is not one-sided. It’s not something one person decides and the other eventually grows into. It exists between two people, and it’s felt on both sides.

That doesn’t mean it’s perfect or that there are no challenges, because every relationship has its own dynamics and growth points but there is a level of mutual recognition and consistency that’s very hard to ignore when it’s genuinely there.

If you’re in a situation where someone is pulling away, not choosing you, not showing up, or not matching your energy, then it’s important to step back and look at that clearly. You can still feel deeply connected to them, you can still care about them, and you can still have strong emotions tied to them, but that doesn’t automatically make them your soulmate. A mutual connection doesn’t require one person to hold onto it for both people.

You Can’t Force a Soulmate Connection

This is also where spirituality can get misunderstood, especially when it comes to rituals and manifestation. You can work with energy, you can clear blockages, you can open pathways, and you can support an existing connection, but you cannot turn someone into your soulmate if that alignment isn’t already there. You can’t make someone feel something they don’t feel, and you can’t override someone’s free will to create a soul-level bond.

When people try to force that, whether through intention, attachment, or repeated effort, it usually just leads to going in circles and holding onto something that isn’t actually meeting them halfway.

Intensity Is Not the Same as Alignment

Another thing I see often is people confusing intensity with alignment. Just because something feels strong or overwhelming doesn’t mean it’s stable or meant to last.

There are situations where the connection is filled with highs and lows, inconsistency, emotional ups and downs, or even behaviors like love bombing or withdrawal, and those patterns can feel very consuming. They can create a sense of urgency or attachment that feels deeper than it actually is.

But a real connection doesn’t leave you constantly questioning where you stand or wondering if the other person is going to show up. There’s a difference between something that feels intense and something that actually feels grounded and mutual.

You’re Not Meant to Chase This

I also think there’s this idea that people need to search for their soulmate or chase after a specific person because they believe that’s “their” person. But that kind of pressure can actually work against you.

You don’t need to force a connection to stay in your life, and you don’t need to convince someone to be part of it. The connections that are genuinely aligned with you will meet you naturally. That doesn’t mean everything will always be easy but it won’t feel like you’re the only one holding it together or trying to make it work.

The Part That’s Hard to Accept

Trust me, I need to be this transparent because there's a lot of "practitioners" out there feeding promises and creating more spiritual, energetic, emotional and psycholoical damage in the long run (and short). At the end of the day, you can care about someone, feel connected to them, and even love them deeply, and still have to accept that they may not be your person.

That’s a hard thing to sit with but it’s also where a lot of clarity comes in. Holding onto the wrong connection too tightly can keep you stuck in something that isn’t actually moving forward, and in some cases, it can block you from being open to something that is a better match for you.

Just because something feels strong doesn’t always mean it’s meant to stay and just because something is meant for you doesn’t mean you have to chase it or force it into place. The right connections don’t require you to prove your worth, convince someone to choose you, or carry the weight of it on your own. They meet you, they respond to you, and they exist in a way that feels mutual rather than one-sided. <3

Blessings, Avanjia

www.thehourofwitchery.com